Substance abuse is a growing problem in the United States, as we all know. According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, about 21 million Americans suffer from substance abuse or dependence. Substance abuse impacts not only the user but also those around us. This is especially true for children of parents who abuse substances. Children of parents with substance abuse problems are more likely to experience various problems, including abuse and neglect, behavioral problems, and mental health issues. Additionally, these children are at an increased risk of developing substance abuse problems. Go figure.
Being a child of alcoholic & addicted parents, I can attest to the fact that it is definitely not fun. I remember feeling powerless and helpless at a very young age, and powerlessness and helplessness are among the worst ways to feel, especially for a child. It definitely had lasting effects.
Parental Substance Abuse Can Cause Emotional Damage to Children
Parental substance abuse can have a seriously negative impact on children. I often mention that the one thing that all of us substance abusers have in common is our high levels of self-loathing. This is NOT a trait I would ever want to pass on to my child. This is why I am currently working on dealing with my childhood trauma and doing shadow work to begin the healing process. Another way parental substance abuse can impact kids is by causing emotional damage. Children with parents who abuse substances often suffer from many negative thoughts and emotions, including:
Fear
Fear is a common emotion for children of parents who abuse substances. They may be afraid of their parents, what their parents will do, or what will happen to their family. This fear can lead to anxiety and sleep problems. As a child, I remember being terrified of my mother’s low-rent friends/creepers, and I remember that I hated the way my mother would act when she was with her friends, and she was always with “friends”. It was worse than fear because there was absolutely no way to escape.
Anxiety
Anxiety is another common emotion for children of parents who abuse substances. They may worry about their parents, what will happen to their family and the future. This anxiety can lead to problems at school and in social situations. I still deal with anxiety today that I can trace back to my early childhood. It is funny how something from such a long time ago can still affect us throughout our entire lives if we haven’t addressed it.
Shame
Shame is another common emotion for children of parents who abuse substances. They may feel like they’re to blame for their parent’s substance abuse or that they’re not good enough. This shame can lead to low self-esteem and depression. I have a lot of shame regarding my childhood. I was so embarrassed by my mom and her drugs and drinking. My sister and I had a code word for when mom was engaging in drug activity. This was so that if we were with friends, we could just drop the word, and the other would know to avoid going home or bringing friends around. We used that word A LOT, and it wasn’t anything to us. Looking back, I am overcome with sadness for those two lost little girls.
Behavioral Problems in Children
Substance abuse by parents can have a lasting and negative impact on their children, even in the best-case scenario. Studies have shown that children of parents who abuse drugs or alcohol are more likely to experience behavioral problems. These problems can include everything from acting out and being disruptive at school to engaging in risky behaviors like drug and alcohol use themselves, which it turns out is more likely than not.
They may be disruptive in class, get into fights, and have difficulty following rules. These behavioral problems can lead to further difficulties in school and life. I grew up with drugs and alcohol always around me, and it became the place where I was most comfortable for many years. As soon as I found out I was pregnant with my daughter at the age of thirty-five, I stopped using that day. That was seven years ago next month. I am determined to give my children a childhood that they do not have to heal from.
Educational Difficulties
Substance abuse by parents can have a profound impact on their children. The most immediate effect is often the child’s education. Children of parents who abuse drugs or alcohol are more likely to struggle in school. They may have difficulty paying attention, concentrating, and keeping up with their classmates. Parental substance abuse can lead to absenteeism, truancy, and a general disinterest in school. As a result, children of parents who abuse drugs or alcohol are more likely to have difficulty in school and are more likely to drop out.
I struggled with many of these issues, and I was ALWAYS exhausted. My mom and her friends would play loud music until the early hours of the morning, and it made it impossible for us to sleep. I was lucky to have a teacher who lived behind our house and pretty much knew exactly what was going on. She was amazing. Thank you, Mrs. Cooper!
Parental Substance Abuse and Its Impact on Kids
Children with parents that actively abuse substances have not only been shown to have increased levels of anxiety but also suffer from things like depression, misconduct, aggressive behaviors, oppositional defiance issues, low self-esteem, and low rates of social competence. It can lead to physical, emotional, and behavioral problems. It can also increase the rates of neglect and abuse. The likelihood of the child being abused is three times more likely and four times more likely to suffer from neglect in a home where at least one parent is addicted.
It is important that children have a stable environment that they can count on. This gives them security, and having a parent who abuses substances is definitely not stable or secure. I am reporting these statistics, but I have seen parents that use drugs after kids go to bed, and only then and for a time, it seemed almost stable, but as we know all too well, we can only maintain for so long. I beg you to seek help before being forced into a scenario that ends with you losing your child to another state home to become another statistic. This is not only my own worst fear it is my worst fear for you, as well.
A Bit of Hope Moving Forward
If I can get clean, then anyone can. I was the worst of the worst, and I was okay with the fact that I thought I would be long gone by now, but I’m not. That has to count for something, doesn’t it? I am choosing to make it count for all those that I have lost way before their time. Those that I never got to say goodbye to. Those that made a genuine difference in my life at a time when I needed them, and the lesson they carried with them. Make it count!
If you liked this article or it resonated with you, please like, follow, subscribe, and comment below. It helps a lot, and I truly do appreciate it. It will keep me going, even through the hardest of times. If you are interested in learning more about addiction, check out my article about Rat Park here. If you need the resources I mentioned in this article because you are still struggling, please check out my resource page or reach out to me on FB, Instagram, or Twitter. I will do anything I can to help because I have been where you are, many times. I will tell you like my dad always told me, “Kid, you just gotta know and believe that there is a light at the end of your tunnel. It will get you through the toughest of times.” He was absolutely right. Thank goodness.
Light & love, everyone! Namaste.
Post Off Quote (Until Next Time)
“When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.”
-Henry Ford
Post Off Affirmation
Every day, in every way I am getting better, better, better.
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